I have a wife who lives in a separate house away from my parents whom she deeply hates.
She does not even like them to come to the house. It should be noted that she has four children. When my parents visit me, she does not serve them. It is I who serve them food, which I actually buy from restaurants, make them coffee, and prepare their beds. I do not let them feel my wife's dislike for them. When they ask me about her, I tell them that she and I had a quarrel. I do not want them to feel that she hates them. Please advise me. What should I do as regards my parents, this wife, and the children who are torn between their mother (Part No. 19; Page No. 267) and me? Since I do not want to offend my wife, I would like to give her advice through your Fatwa (legal opinion issued by a qualified Muslim scholar). I will give the Fatwa to one of her brothers to read it to her as she is illiterate. As-salamu `alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuh (May Allah's Peace, Mercy, and Blessings be upon you)
Both the spouses should fear Allah (Glorified and Exalted be He) and do their duties towards each other in kindness. They should both be kind to their in-laws in order to create intimacy and become a close-knit family. Allah (Exalted be He) says:
...and live with them honourably.
He (Glorified be He) also says:
Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allâh has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allâh and to their husbands), and guard in the husband’s absence what Allâh orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband’s property).
In his explanation of "devoutly obedient,"
Ibn `Abbas and others said, "It refers to women who are obedient to their husbands." Commenting on Allah's Saying:
Men are the protectors and maintainers of women
Ibn Kathir (may Allah be merciful to him) reported from
Ibn `Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them) that he (Ibn `Abbas) said, "It means that men are in charge of them. A woman has to obey her husband in matters in which Allah has ordered her to obey him; and this includes (Part No. 19; Page No. 268) being kind to his family and prudent with his money."
May Allah grant us success. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and Companions.