Q: Many Ayahs (Qur'anic verses) and Prophetic Hadith encourage
keeping the ties of kinship.
However, my siblings and I have severed the ties of kinship with one of our sisters for the following reasons: (Part No. 25; Page No. 312) She married a man, Allah knows whether he is good or not. All her siblings refused their marriage but our mother agreed and she married them against our wish. This stirred up animosity and hatred between the husband and her siblings. We have a brother who is a virtuous, pious, and Multazim (practicing Muslim) person, although none can verify this but Allah, who threw our brother-in-law out of our house as the latter used to visit us daily and stay until after midnight. Our brother-in-law went with our sister who was dressed immodestly to the police. They accused my brother of throwing them out of the house and other false accusations. After this problem, our brother in-law did not enter our house and our sister did not visit us for months, as she felt ashamed of what they did. A month later, our brother was arrested and detained for 8 months without a reason. This happened two years ago, our brother then was released and traveled abroad. Our sister visits us but I cannot look at her face or pay attention to her due to her negative attitudes when she was engaged. (Part No. 25; Page No. 313) I am thinking of keeping our ties of kinship but I change my mind and remember Allah's saying, "You (O Muhammad peace be upon him) will not find any people who believe in Allâh and the Last Day, making friendship with those who oppose Allâh and His Messenger (Muhammad peace be upon him)"Does the above Ayah apply to my sister? My brother sent me a letter saying that I should not talk to my sister, as her marriage is considered Zina (adultery). He may be referring to the fact that the brothers did not approve of it and that she got married after the death of her father. The husband also divorced her before consummating the marriage and then returned to her in less than a month in the presence of the Ma'dhun (marriage registrant), one witness, and our mother; is this permissible? Beseeching Allah for sincerity, I ask if it is permissible for me to keep good relationships with my sister to please Allah although she dresses immodestly and displeases Allah?I am sorry, I fear lest I should not be able to reveal the matter properly. Our parents are the reason behind our shattered family, Allah (Alone) is Sufficient for us, and He is the Best Disposer of affairs (for us). I am so upset from my mother as she stirs up problems and married our sister to this man against our will. My mother cuts off her relations with her children, neighbors, and her beloved ones for the sake of this marriage. Your Eminence, I am sorry for my long letter but (Part No. 25; Page No. 314) is it permissible for me to keep the ties of kinship with my sister despite what I have told you?
You have to reform your affairs and do your best in advising your mother, sister, and her husband.
You should recommend one another to stick to truth and show patience, out of pleasing Allah and keeping the ties of kinship. Allah (may Allah be Exalted) says,
So fear Allâh and adjust all matters of difference among you, and obey Allâh and His Messenger (Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم), if you are believers.
There is no good in most of their secret talks save (in) him who orders Sadaqah (charity in Allâh’s Cause), or Ma‘rûf (Islâmic Monotheism and all the good and righteous deeds which Allâh has ordained), or conciliation between mankind; and he who does this, seeking the good Pleasure of Allâh, We shall give him a great reward.
By Al-‘Asr (the time).
Verily, man is in loss,
Except those who believe (in Islâmic Monotheism) and do righteous good deeds, and recommend one another to the truth [i.e. order one another to perform all kinds of good deeds (Al-Ma‘ruf) which Allâh has ordained, and abstain from all kinds of sins and evil deeds (Al-Munkar which Allâh has forbidden], and recommend one another to patience (for the sufferings, harms, and injuries which one may encounter in Allâh’s Cause during preaching His religion of Islâmic Monotheism or Jihâd).
Worship Allâh and join none with Him (in worship); and do good to parents, kinsfolk
And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents.
So give to the kindred his due
In addition to many other Ayahs conveying the same advice. It is authentically reported that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said,
"The Religion (of Islam) is (based on) sincerity." We (the Companions) asked, "For whom?" (Part No. 25; Page No. 315) He replied, "For Allah, His Book, His Messenger, and for the leaders and ordinary Muslims."
Beware of severing ties of kinship, for the Prophet (peace be upon him) warned against this when he said,
The word Al-Rahim (womb) derives its name from Al-Rahman (i.e., one of the names of Allah) and Allah said: 'I will keep good relation with the one who will keep good relation with you, (womb i.e. Kith and kin) and sever the relation with him who will sever the relation with you.
(Related by Al-Bukhari.) He (peace be upon him) also said,
Al-Rahim (the ties of kinship) takes hold of the Throne and says: May Allah maintain those who will maintain me! May Allah sever those who will sever me.
(Related by Muslim.) If they respond positively, thanks to Allah for guidance and the reunion; otherwise, you have to treat them kindly and continue advising them due to the Ayahs that have been quoted earlier.May Allah grant us success. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and Companions.