Being not able to abstain from the wife and having to make Kaffarah for Zhihar during Ramadan
02/07/1417 A. H. I pronounced Zhihar (a man likening his wife to an unmarriageable relative) and said to my wife: "From now on, you are unlawful for me like my mother."
However, I asked some scholars about it and Shaykh Ahmad Yahya Al-Najmy gave me a Fatwa (legal opinion issued by a qualified Muslim scholar) that I have to observe Sawm (Fast) for two successive months as I am unable to free a salve and I am healthy enough to perform Sawm; being a thirty three year old young man. I met the Shaykh in 14/07/1417 and he advised that I start the Sawm in 15/07/1417 A.H, continue observing Sawm for the month of Sha`ban and Ramadan, break the fast for the day of `Eid-ul-Fitr (the Festival of Breaking the Fast), and then complete the number of days required until the fifteenth of Shawwal while not having any sexual intercourse or relations with my wife.I thus started observing Sawm since 15/07/1417 until today but I feel that I am unable to control my sexual desire anymore. It may be worth mentioning that I was many times about to indulge in sexual intercourse with my wife while still more than forty five days remain until the two months of Sawm finish. (Part No. 20; Page No. 317) My question is whether it is permissible for me to change the way of making Kaffarah (expiation) and feed Miskins (needy people) instead of observing Sawm because of the circumstances mentioned above?
If the reality is exactly as what you have mentioned and that you fear doing something which is Haram (prohibited, i.e. Having sexual intercourse with your wife before doing the Kaffarah), there is no impediment that you change the way of making Kaffarah and feed Miskins. You have to feed sixty Miskins by giving each one of them half a Sa`, i.e., one kilo and half of the food of the country before you have sexual intercourse with your wife. May Allah grant us success. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and Companions.