Q: A few years ago, I showed great religious commitment. However, now I suffer many setbacks due to insinuating whispers of Satan. In the past, I used to offer Salah (Prayer) in the Masjid (mosque), now
I find it the most troubling thing.
I would die of shame if I mention to you the other things I have done. I feel as if I have two hearts; one is full of good (shown by my outward acts) and the second is full of evil (shown by my inner thoughts). I fear being a hypocrite. I severely suffer from these whispers which strike me upon doing any act, major or minor, i.e. Why I behaved this way and not the other. One example is when I talk with my friend, I think about what he has in his mind. I do not know whether this matter is a test or a punishment from Allah. May it be due to the sickness of my heart as I suffer chronic heart disease?My attempts of resorting to Allah by means of asking forgiveness and making Du`a' (supplication) to remove this suffering were of no avail. I know that my letter includes (Part No. 2; Page No. 21) mistakes and things that Muslims should not do. So, I beg your pardon and ask you to make Du`a' for me so that it may help.
We advise you to turn to Allah and seek refuge in Him, strive to do the obligations including Salah and Sawm (Fasting). Do supererogatory acts as much as you can. Furthermore, you should recite the Qur'an more frequently, ponder, and act upon its Ayahs. Remember Allah frequently and supplicate to Him especially at the suggested times of response and at the last portion of night. May Allah guide you to the right path, forgive you, and replace your ill feelings with good ones, for Allah is Ever Near and Responsive.May Allah grant us success. May peace and blessings of Allah be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family and Companions.