Visiting the graves as an act of the Sunnah for men and not women
Q 12: What is the
ruling on visiting graves?
According to the most appropriate of the two views held by scholars, it is an act of the Sunnah (commendable act) for men only to visit graves. The purpose of visiting them is to let people learn a lesson and be reminded of death and the Hereafter and pray to Allah (Exalted be He) to grant mercy and forgiveness to the deceased. This was the regular practice which the Prophet (peace be upon him) taught to his Sahabah (Companions, may Allah be pleased with them). Visiting the graves is not meant to seek help or blessings from the dead or to beseech them for Shafa'ah (intercession). The Prophet (peace be upon him) is reported to have said:
Visit the graves for they remind you of the Hereafter.
Muslim in his Sahih (authentic book of Hadith).
The Prophet (peace be upon him) also taught his Sahabah to say the following Du`a' when visiting graves:
May you be safe, O inmates of the abodes of the believers and the Muslims, and if Allah pleases, we shall follow you. We pray to Allah for well-being for ourselves and for you).
In another narration it is stated:
May Allah have mercy on those who have gone ahead of us and those who will come later on.
May Allah grant us success. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family and Companions.