Q 3: What is the
ruling if the relatives of the deceased stay for a number of days or weeks beside his or her grave? What is the ruling on men and women who habitually visit graves on Thursdays?
What is the ruling on women who weep or slap their cheeks while mourning for the dead?
Staying for a number of days or weeks beside the grave of a dead person because of being attached to them or believing that they can sense the presence of their relatives is known to have neither been the regular practice of the Prophet (peace be upon him) nor of the Rightly-Guided Caliphs and Sahabah (Companions of the Prophet, may Allah be pleased with them). Moreover, the scholars of the Salaf (righteous predecessors) are not known to have practiced this custom. Nothing is better than following their line of conduct. Staying by the graves is an act of Bid`ah (innovation in religion) which must be avoided in compliance to the example of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him), the Rightly-Guided Caliphs and Sahabah and whoever follows in their footsteps (Part No. 9; Page No. 107) in righteousness. Singling out Thursday for visiting graves also constitutes an act of Bid`ah. It is authentically reported that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
He who innovates things in our affairs for which there is no valid (reason) (commits sin) and these are to be rejected.
However, there is nothing wrong if a person habitually visits the graves on Thursday if they find it difficult to visit them on other days, as long as they do not single it out as being a virtuous day. Men are permitted to visit graves at any time.Based on the answer to the first question, it is a major sin for women to weep or slap their cheeks when visiting graves.