If a man deserts his wife for more than three months for her Nushuz (the state when one spouse violates their marital duties), meaning that she disobeys her husband with regard to her marital duties towards him, and she insists on that after being admonished and warned against the Wrath of Allah by the husband, and after being reminded of her duties towards him, the husband is allowed to desert her in bed as he likes. This is considered a disciplinary procedure until she carries out her obligations willingly. The Prophet (peace be upon him) abandoned his wives in bed for a month. However, the husband is not permitted to avoid speaking with her for more than three days. It was authentically reported on the authority of
Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: (Part No. 20; Page No. 262)
"It is not permissible for any Muslim to desert his (Muslim) brother for more than three days."
Muslim in the Two Sahih [authentic] Books of Hadith and
Ahmad in his Musnad [Hadith compilation])
However, if a husband deserts his wife in bed for more than four months in order to hurt her without any negligence on her part concerning her duties towards him, he will come under the ruling of Ila', even if he does not take an oath. In this case, he will be subject to the four-month respite period mentioned above. The husband will be obliged to divorce his wife if the four-month period expires without having sexual intercourse with her, in default of any excuse, such as his being disable or his wife being in a menstrual or postpartum period. If he refuses to return to her or to divorce her, the judge is to divorce her or annul their marriage, at the wife's request. (Part No. 20; Page No. 263) May Allah grant us success. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and Companions.