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Wishing to take the mother away because the father abuses her

Q: I am a young man who has a righteous wife but my father is hard-hearted. My mother is elderly and suffers from several diseases. Four years ago I traveled from the south to Riyadh. The great concern of my father is (Part No. 25; Page No. 167) money. He tried more than one time to drive me out of home and not to allow me to enter it again as long as he is alive. The point is that I am a religious person. I perform all the duties of my Din (religion) and Salah (Prayer) in a way that I hopefully think is pleasing to Allah (Exalted be He). I do not like to miss my parents as I understand that all my Salah and worship (`Ibadah) are not considered perfect unless my parents are pleased with me. Nevertheless, my father can not be pleased with me unless I send him money to build a house even though we own a new house which has more than eight rooms while his family consists of only five people. The problem is that I do not have the necessary amount of money. I have to cover the expenses of my own family, house, and demands of this passing life. On the other hand, my father forbids me to take my mother to Riyadh to receive medical treatment. Not only that, my father also beats my mother and insults her publicly all the time.Please reply and give me a Fatwa whether I have to:1. Borrow the sum of money that my father wants and send it to him so that Allah and my father will be pleased with me.2. To take my mother to live with me while my father is unaware of this. This is something that I do not like to do.3. To forget about the whole matter and to try to forget my parents as well, bearing in mind that this is something (Part No. 25; Page No. 168) I will never be able to do.It is noteworthy that I have been suffering from a complex since I was a child as I used to see my father beating my mother in a severe manner. He would do so despite of my mother's dutifulness and the fact that my father did not have any wife other than her. My parents got married more than thirty-five years ago. On the other hand, I am twenty-four years old and my salary does not suffice my family's cost of living along with my house rent.


A: If the reality is exactly as what you have mentioned, it is Wajib (obligatory) on you to be dutiful to your parents, to behave with them in a kindly manner, to advise them softly, to fulfill the rights of Allah (Exalted be He) i.e. to perform Salah etc., to be kind to each other, and to maintain the ties of kinship. You should not be disobedient to your father because of his bad behavior towards you and your mother. Moreover, you should not take your mother to live with you unless you first obtain permission from your father. However, you do not have to borrow money to give to your father as long as his income suffices him. You only have to help him financially according to your ability so that Allah (Exalted be He), then your father will be pleased with you. Allah (Exalted be He) says, And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship until His saying: But if they (both) strive against you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. (Part No. 25; Page No. 169) May Allah grant us success. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and Companions.


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