Supporting the relatives

Q: I am forty-eight years old and have four daughters whose medical treatment caused their mother and I a lot of pain. We are still suffering because of their being born deformed. We are greatly indebted because of that. Allah alone knows how we suffer to provide for our living. Some people were of the opinion that our condition makes us deserving the Sadaqah (voluntary charity). My mother died four years ago and she gave birth to sixteen children of whom I am the eldest; we are 4 sons and 12 daughters. When my mother died, I had a sister who was ten years old. I asked my father to take her to live with me and my daughters, but my old father stubbornly refused. My sister lived with him more than two years and a half during which she had a miserable experience, for my father got married more than once. He lived in Cairo and his wives are all from Cairo. Later, he brought my sister to (Part No. 25; Page No. 334) live with me after she had lost a lot of her education and culture. Indeed, her behavior became intolerable. Before her arrival, I was living quietly with my children and their mother with nothing to turn our life upside down until my sister came. My sister, according to her own description, is very stubborn, spiteful, rancorous, etc., of the inexpressible vices. Nevertheless, my wife and I convinced ourselves that she is still young and unfortunate for not finding the person who could tell her what is right and what is not; she might be changed into a better state through the passage of days, which was not the case, as the environment she lived in during two years and half was in utter contradiction with ours. Thanks to Allah, our home is purely free of hatred, rancor, and nagging complaints. Unfortunately, my daughters began to undergo spiritual wicked sufferance and bitter disputes among each other. My wife did her best to reconcile them, but she could not stand it anymore. As for myself, I am handicapped and suffer many dangerous diseases, such as arteriosclerosis, osteoarthritis, a clot in one of my legs and gland cancer. Allah only knows how I afford the expenses of my medical treatment. I have enough problems in my life for it to be worsened by the presence of my sister. My father, may Allah forgive him, has good income. I believe I am not responsible for providing for my sister whose father is alive, although I know that she needs guidance and some one to watch over her, but I have made up my mind that there is no way that she can stay living with my family; I will return her to my father once the current semester is over, (Part No. 25; Page No. 335) although she was not successful due to her lacking the natural disposition for study. I say that I decided to send her to my father whom I have phoned in Cairo, Egypt. He spends nine months in Egypt and the remaining three in the kingdom collecting the rent of his properties, etc. But he refused the mere idea of taking her again and said to me that I should consider him dead. I told him that if he was dead, Allah forbid, I would have kept her in the kingdom and sent her to one of her brothers and he would provide for her so she will be educated in the best schools, and send her to a boarding school, such as Dar Al-Tarbia (House of Education) or any other. However, he utterly refused that I send her to him and told me to do whatever I see proper for her.I am not trying to get an answer to a social problem; rather I am discussing the Islamic viewpoint. What if I oppose my father and refuse to comply with what he wants, sending the girl to him to take full responsibility of her; will this be wrong on my side? I fear to invoke the wrath of Allah upon me. But after long thought and suffering, I can not find another solution, but to send my sister to my father or else I will have to divorce my wife and waste the life of my own daughters who are already suffering and diseased with blood pressure because of this matter.