Making divorce dependent on his wife disclosing what happens between them

Q: I said to my wife, "If you tell your mother about our problems or anything that happens between us, you will be divorced and our sexual relationship will be Zina (sexual intercourse outside marriage), except what I allow you to tell her." I said that to my wife in a fit of rage. (Part No. 20; Page No. 176) I could not control my temper and unconsciously said these words. The question now is, if she says anything to her mother about what happens in our house, will she be divorced? Then, if she repeats it once more, will she be divorced a second time? And if she repeats it a third time, will she be irrevocably divorced? Is it permissible for me to go back on my oath and say to her for example, "Say whatever you want to your mother, you will not be divorced"?

A: If, by taking this oath, you intend to divorce your wife if she discloses any of your family problems, then if she discloses any of them, she will be divorced one time. Then, it will be permissible for you to return to her during the `Iddah (woman's prescribed waiting period after divorce or widowhood), if it is not the third time of divorce. However, if your intention is to prevent your wife from disclosing any of your family problems and not to divorce her, then if she discloses your problems, it will not be considered a divorce. This takes the same ruling as a broken oath. You shall make Kaffarah (expiation) for an oath by feeding or clothing ten needy people or freeing a Muslim slave. If you are unable to do so, then you must fast for three days. May Allah grant us success. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and Companions.