You must be dutiful and kind to your mother as much as you can, even if she did not breastfeed or raise you. This is because Allah (Exalted be He) states:
Worship Allâh and join none with Him (in worship); and do good to parents
Allah also says:
And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents.
Allah (Exalted be He) also states: (Part No. 25; Page No. 118)
But if they (both) strive against you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do.
It is related by
Muslim on the authority of
that a person came to Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) and said: O Messenger of Allah! Who among the people is most deserving of my good companionship? He said: Your mother. He, again, said: Then who (is the next one)? He said: It is your mother (who deserves the best treatment from you). He said: Then who (is the next one)? He (the Prophet) said: Your mother. He (again) said: Then who? Thereupon he (the Prophet peace be upon him) said: Your father.
It is Haram (prohibited) for you to accuse, think bad of, or talk badly about her without knowledge. Allah (Exalted be He) states:
O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion; indeed some suspicions are sins.
And follow not (O man i.e., say not, or do not or witness not) that of which you have no knowledge. Verily! The hearing, and the sight, and the heart, of each of those one will be questioned (by Allâh).
If you go to visit her or want to show dutifulness and kindness to her but she or her husband refuses to meet you, or her husband prevents you from contacting her or delivering anything to her, you have carried out your duty and there is no sin on you. This is because Allah (Exalted be He) states:
Allâh burdens not a person beyond his scope.
However, beware of severing ties of kinship with her or offending her. In fact, you should repay her offense with kindness. This is because the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) stated:
Should I inform you about the greatest sin? We said: Yes, O Allah's Messenger! He said: To associate others in worship with Allah and to be undutiful to one's parents.
(Part No. 25; Page No. 119) He (peace be upon him) stated:
Allah has forbidden you to be undutiful to your mothers, to withhold (what you should give) or demand (what you do not deserve).
He (peace be upon him) also stated:
The severer (of the ties of kinship) shall not enter Jannah (Paradise).
He (peace be upon him) stated:
Those who maintain ties of kinship are not those who repay good with good, but who when their ties of kinship are severed, they reestablish them again.
If you are poor, it is enough to visit your mother and meet her with a smiling face. Your mother, on the other hand, must feel sympathy towards you and allow you to maintain ties of kinship with her as much as she can. If she does not do that, you are obligated to treat her kindly.May Allah grant us success. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and Companions.