As for the family of the deceased serving food for people and holding ceremonies on certain days

A 2: It is Mashru` (Islamically permissible) to serve sufficient food for the deceased's family to satisfy their need, since they will be too busy with their calamity to prepare food for themselves. Thus this is a matter of sympathy with them. The Prophet (peace be upon him) commanded some of his family to serve food for Ja`far ibn Abu Talib's family (may Allah be pleased with him) upon receiving the news of his death in the Levant (the region covering Syria, Lebanon, Jordan, and Palestine), saying: Prepare food for the family of Ja`far for there came upon them an incident which has engaged them. As for the family of the deceased serving food for people and holding ceremonies during certain days, this is a Bid`ah (innovation in religion). Jarir ibn `Abdullah (the companion of the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him) said: "We used to consider gathering at the bereaved family's house and preparing food after burial among the (forbidden acts of) wailing." As for building domes and Masjids (mosques) over graves, the Prophet (peace be upon him) cursed whoever does that, because this is one of the means leading to Shirk (associating others with Allah in His Divinity or worship) and one of the practices of the Jews and the Christians. The same applies to plastering graves, which was forbidden by the Messenger (peace be upon him), because this is one of the means leading to Shirk. It is narrated in the Two Sahih (authentic) Books of Hadith (i.e. Al-Bukhari and Muslim) on the authority of `Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her), that she said: "When the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) was dying, he began pulling his Khamisah (blanket) over his face but when he felt suffocated by it, he removed it from his face and at that point he said: 'May the curse of Allah be upon the Jews and the Christians who took the graves of their Prophets as places of worship.'" There is another Hadith related on the authority of Jabir (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) forbade plastering graves, erecting structures over them, (Part No. 7; Page No. 410) and sitting on them. (Related by Ahmad, Muslim and Al-Tirmidhy, and was ranked as Sahih (authentic) by Al-Nasa'y and Ibn Majah). With regard to hiring Qur'an reciters to recite for the soul of the deceased, this is a Bid`ah, and every Bid`ah is misguidance. Nothing should be demanded of the deceased, neither Du`a' (supplication) nor anything else, since they are able to do nothing. Rather, asking, seeking refuge or help with, or asking the dead to supplicate to Allah for someone, all these matters are from the types of major Shirk (associating others with Allah in His Divinity or worship that takes the Muslim out of Islam), since this is considered a kind of worshiping the dead.May Allah grant us success. May Allah's peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and Companions!